I have a big void in my life without my sister in it. She was wrong when she talked about her future death- "you will be sad for maybe two weeks then you won't miss me at all". I miss her so much and I feel so guilty that she is dead. If only I had taken more time to make her feel like she was neeeded by me and my family maybe she would have decided to live. How can you argue with a person who is in pain and just doens't want to be in pain anymore though. I know I treated her like an inconvienece at times. I was so wrong. Could I have secretely wished this into happening? I am glad that she believed in God and that there was going to be an afterlife and a reunion with others who went. It would be nice if that was the case but I have big doubts on that.
Jan 1 2008 was the day of my back injury. It took me about two and 1/2 months before I was able to run again. I am proud that I fought back from that one, it was definetely a struggle When I couldn't even walk much I did the stationary bike then evenually was able to manage the eliptical then eventually the treadmill.
Chippewa 50k in April was a highlight of the year. The weeks before I had no plans to run it since I was still having back issues and had only squeeked out a couple of runs at 15 miles. The week before I thought what the heck and signed up the day before. I ended up feeling better during the 2nd half of the race than I had ever felt running before.
The other races I did were Trail Mix 50k(best time thanks to the shortened route), Ice Age 50 mile(the cut off times were brutal to me), Fans(ony 71 miles-embarassing), Grandmas(my last one), Afton(always great) 1/2 Vouageur Marathon(so much fun -great company) Vouageur 50 mile( I did bettter than the previous year- I love this course), Paavo Nurmi(this one is all about the friends), Superior(DNF- I stil can't believe it),Twin Cities Marathon(should have done better), Mother Road 100(loved it- can't wait to attempt another 100).
I added 11 races to my 50 by 50 total so I am up to 42. I did not of course count Superior.
I need 8 marathon or higher races before Aug 25.
I am looking to 2009 with a new view of healthy- no hiding my head in the sand. I have to face reality and take it up a step. I have already started and am feeling good.